Ugly

At what point does a person’s bad behavior become inexcusable? When the explanation of, “She’s just passionate,” “That’s just the way he is,” or “She doesn’t know any better” gets old, when do we begin to hold those people accountable for their behavior?

When do we set the boundaries we need to set to get and stay well? When they’ve embarrassed us? Shamed us? Humiliated us? Usually no. We usually take it as our own problem and live our lives around it, like a pile of dog shit in the middle of the room. We ignore it, minimize it, deny it…but it’s there, stinking up our lives, and EVERYONE sees it, whether they say something or not.

What makes us draw the line? To act rather than react? To say “you are not allowed to hurt me or bully me or shame me or guilt me or make me crazy anymore!” And then to follow through…words are never enough.

The most exasperating part is these are usually adults who are acting out like angry toddlers. They yell, stomp, slam, throw, cry, threaten—and then one of two things happen: a) they get what they want, so they act like nothing happened (or if something DID happen it was YOUR fault) or b) you say absolutely not, and put them in time out.

Time out only works for a little while. This adult toddler will test the boundaries asserted in the past for weak areas, much as a dog will test the weak spots in a fence.

That is when their bad behavior becomes your responsibility. Do you let them back in? Do you allow little breaches that eventually become gaping holes that the person will definitely violate? Or do you, like the patient mother or father, continue to reinforce those boundaries until the badly behaved human learns that you shall not be moved.

Fucking people. Dumb people, hurt people, arrogant people. Fuck people.

If you’re going to set a boundary, you had better be prepared to protect it like an armed guard protects a vault.

Get back, motherfucker.

You know the rules.

Try it again and know the consequences.

Rant for the day: If you’re a grown ass human and have to behave badly because you need to teach someone something or get something done, maybe the problem is YOU. You have NO RIGHT to interfere with someone else’s happiness, well-being, serenity, or emotions. Fuck you. If you want shit done, do it yourself or be a big girl and learn to communicate like the rest of us. Or go be a dipshit somewhere else. Also, if you are letting other people bully you with their bad behavior, threats, abuse…pull up your panties and move along. Build that fence, and keep mending the weak spots. Be a fucking lion, not a sheep. Sheep follow, lions do the fuck what they want.

When I was a little girl, I lived in a home that was full of invisible land mines. One false step and daddy would blow up. You learn to tiptoe very carefully. Funny, because later my marriage looked a lot like my childhood. Landmines, bitches.

I got the fuck out. I know what I need to do to take care of me and mine and I will be damned if I let some mutt fuck with that. This is where boundaries come in. I no longer accept responsibility for someone else’s bad behavior. I no longer tolerate bad behavior in my home. I set those boundaries, and reinforce them. And, like a lion, if you mess with me, I will fucking eat you.

Set some boundaries. Stop allowing grown ass human babies to get their way. Do. Not. Reward. Their. Bad. Behavior. Decide what you want and need, set limits, move along. Or stay miserable. Not my business.

Lastly, we tend to treat those we love the worst. Stop it. Those people are the ones that will be there, don’t make them regret their decision to love you. Don’t make them your prisoner. Don’t fuck up their lives just because yours sucks. Grow a set and be a decent person. If your life is so fucked up that you have to hurt others to feel like you matter, shame on you, you small, ugly, insignificant parasite. Get some help and grow the fuck up.

If none of this applies to you, feel free to carry on.